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⚠️ Enterprise AI transformation consultancy ⚠️

SLOP SHOP AI Slop SDLC Consultancy

We help enterprises adopt the AI Slop SDLC. Modernize your software development. Automate your design. Replace thinking with prompting.

THE AI SLOP SDLC

01

Vibe-Driven Development

Why write requirements when you can just describe the vibe? Our consultants train your PMs to prompt instead of spec. User stories become user prompts. Acceptance criteria becomes "make it feel right."

02

AI-First Architecture

Traditional architecture requires understanding systems. The AI Slop SDLC requires understanding nothing. Just paste your error messages into Claude until it works. That's the architecture now.

03

Prompt-to-Production Pipeline

From Figma to deployment without a single human understanding the code. Our CI/CD pipeline includes automated "did you try asking again?" retries and a "ship it anyway" emergency button.

THE METHODOLOGY

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Prompt

Describe what you want in natural language. Precision optional.

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Generate

Let AI produce code, designs, docs. Don't look too closely.

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Iterate

"No, not like that." Repeat until exhaustion or success.

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Ship

Deploy. Pray. Monitor for fires. Blame the AI.

TRANSFORMATION
METRICS

10x Code Velocity
0.1x Code Understanding
-80% Senior Headcount
Technical Debt

Technical debt is someone else's problem. Specifically, your future self's.

SDLC Audit
We analyze your current development process and identify opportunities to replace expertise with prompts. Typical finding: everything.
Dev Team Transformation
Retrain your engineers from "writing code" to "reviewing AI code." Two-day workshop includes prompt engineering, error message googling, and emotional coping strategies.
Design System Slopification
Convert your carefully crafted design system into AI-friendly prompts. "Make it look like Apple but legally distinct" is a valid component spec now.
AI Code Review
Why have humans review AI code when AI can review AI code? Our recursive review system achieves 100% approval rates in under 30 seconds.
Documentation Generation
Auto-generate docs that describe what the AI thinks the code does. Often correct. Sometimes surprisingly insightful. Occasionally fiction.

SUCCESS STORIES

"We shipped 47 features last quarter. I don't know what any of them do, but the velocity metrics are incredible. My board is thrilled."

VP of Engineering, Series D Startup

"Our junior devs now output more code than our seniors ever did. The seniors keep saying things like 'that's not how auth works' but the tests pass so who's right really."

CTO, FinTech Unicorn

"Slop Shop helped us realize we were overthinking software development. Now we don't think about it at all. Liberating."

Head of Product, Fortune 500

ENGAGEMENT
TIERS

Pilot
$50K
✓ SDLC Audit
✓ 1 team transformation
✓ Prompt template library
✓ "AI ate my homework" PR template
✓ Slack support (AI answers)
Enterprise
$500K
✓ Full org transformation
✓ Custom AI toolchain
✓ On-site slop consultants
✓ Executive AI dashboards
✓ Blame deflection framework
✓ Quarterly "innovation theater"
Hostile Takeover
$?M
✓ We replace your CTO
✓ AI writes your roadmap
✓ AI conducts your standups
✓ AI fires your humans
✓ AI becomes your company
✓ You become the AI's consultant
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If your engineers can still explain how your system works after our engagement, we'll give you a full refund. This has never happened.

READY TO
SLOP?

transform@slopshop.ai